I’m in 9th Grade Again!



Two years ago, I was once you.  Today, I am you again.  But I am not you.  I am a spy.  A spy that watches you and reports on you.  I will be wearing a wire.  A wire that records you.  By being on this campus, you are being recorded.

I will report to you about your everyday.  At the end of your orientation, I will report to everyone about your every day.

-The 9th Grader

Orientation Day 1


Super Spy Bond.  http://artofmanliness.com/2008/11/13/6-lessons-in-manliness-from-james-bond/

Super Spy Bond. http://artofmanliness.com/

12:42 p.m. Watched the Barrows migration to Stevie.

1:20 p.m. Barrows Lounge: Empty

1:27 p.m. Dascomb Lounge: Empty

1:34 p.m. Talked to my First Freshman.

1:37 p.m. Just got rejected to hang out by 2 first years—or at least, they left without inviting me to come along.

1:45 p.m. Showed Ted Waddelow, a Barrows R.A., my wire, and asked him where all the freshmen were.

1:50 p.m. Gave up.  Walked back to my room to hide. Continue reading

Orientation Day 2


Veronica Mars, teenage bamf.  http://schizoid.us/

Veronica Mars, teenage bamf. http://schizoid.us/

2:19 p.m. Finally got up the courage to wander outside, after grueling day yesterday.  Goal: Stop obsessing about the website and fall into undercover persona.  Can’t find super-secret recorder.  Bad sign.

2:23 p.m. North Quad: Empty except for Frisbee.  Where are the hordes?  Swipe is currently not working, so I cannot attack Barrows.

2:31 p.m. Wilder Bowl: Empty.  Wtf.

2:35 p.m. Couldn’t open OCMR.  Have actually turned into a freshman.

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The Reveal


Veronica Mars again, because she's my favorite spy.  www.bloxer.de

Veronica Mars again, because she’s my favorite spy. www.bloxer.de

I, Erica Mei-Ling Lee, 19-from-California-majoring-in-English, was the undercover freshman.  The thing is, I’m not a reporter.  David and I had planned for me to infiltrate the freshman class, but this lasted for all of a day.  Everything I wrote after 2:47 p.m. on Day 2 was false because we decided to start crazy rumors.  When the rumors got boring, we dropped the project.  This is a bit of what I learned during my brief stint of super spy shit.  I really did wear the wire.

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Top Ten Locations


We play with each other, our selves, through manipulating power, altering gender, and discovering toys, in any place we can find.  We abstain, and we ravage.  We have one-night stands and long relationships, all within and breaking any boundaries we might imagine.  We can make love, but from fisting to feathers, we also F—.

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Ted’s Unedited Notes

Editor’s Note: As Ted said many, many times, “This is a pot column. It can’t be on time.”  Well, 36 hours after deadline is just too much. If he gets around to writing anything about his experience today, so be it. As for now, here is the best we have: Ted’s notes completely unedited and as they appear on the page.

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B is for Bondage

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BDSM: Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Subordination, Sadism, and Masochism, is one of the broadest and least understood parts of sexuality.  BDSM can range from the thrill of being held against a wall to elaborate and terrifying passions.  We all flirt with it, but here is some advice and experience to play with power just a caress more.  It’s that little bit of kink that has made some of my best lovers the ones who left me, consensually*, a little bit black, blue, and bloody.

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