Monthly Archives: November 2010

Fantasy and Masturbation

By Sassy S.

Fantasizing and masturbation are key parts of our personal lives whether we discuss them openly or not. Fantasy can be done on its own, as can masturbation, but there is no doubt the two go together well. The SIC (Sexual Information Center) hosted a workshop this week specifically geared towards discussing (and encouraging) fantasy and masturbation.

The talk began by reading aloud multiple fantasies that had been submitted by the audience, demonstrating the wide variety of sexual fantasies that can exist. Not every person is going to have the same fantasy, and it is important to recognize and respect those differences. Fantasizing is imagining anything that gets you hot. No fantasy is the “right” fantasy; they can be dangerous, innocent, familiar or new. Fantasies are safe and do not have to reflect things you do in real life. It is perfectly acceptable to imagine engaging in behavior you wouldn’t regularly do, since the thought is safely tucked away in your head.

Masturbation can be one of the safest sexual acts since there is no chance of contracting an STI. Masturbation is the act of pleasuring oneself. The good news about masturbation is everyone can do it. Here’s a fun fact: most children under the age of five have masturbated (now take a moment to think back). Masturbation feels good, it’s relaxing, and it can help you get to know yourself. Masturbation can also be something you do to spoil yourself. As one SIC staffer put it, “Just because you’re not with a partner doesn’t mean you can’t be sexy or treat yourself well.”

For those who came to the workshop looking for masturbation techniques, many were suggested. Here are some interesting ones I picked out that the Fearless and Loathing readers may be able to add to their collections:

  • During solo sex, it can be fun to practice edging.  Edging is bringing yourself to the point just before climax, before pausing and then reengaging, which will force yourself to last longer. This can also be good practice for men and women who want to postpone climaxing in bed.
  • If men are looking to stimulate the prostate, a little bit of anal play will do the trick. Stimulation of the prostate can even lead to non-ejaculatory orgasm in some men.
  • An easy slight-of-hand trick is applying pressure to the sensitive perineum, the skin between the testes and anus. This can be done by oneself or a partner who is spicing up a hand job.
  • For women, exercising the Kegel muscles can help increase pleasure for yourself and your partner. Ben wa balls, a small pair of weighted balls, can be inserted into the vagina and held there for exercise.

Ryan Eilbeck and Friends at the Black River Café

By Alice Beecher

[youtube=http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZmMXPcxiRA]

On Wednesday night at Black River, three talented and unpretentious human beings came to share their art and stories. Ryan Eilbeck, Richard Wehrenberg Jr. and Matt Scheuermann are down to earth punks writing poetry in their basements, finding beauty in falling in love and toilet seats. Although the opening band was a bit discordant and the real show didn’t start until around 11, the event showcased some of the most moving poetry I’ve heard at Oberlin.

Arriving late because of a broken down van, Ryan Eilbeck, a poet from Columbus and a Lorain County native, immediately warmed up the crowd with funny banter and an easy stage presence. With poems that began as relatable, small town stories and later delved into deeper philosophical ideas, Eilbeck impressed the small but captivated audience.

Poems about dog shit and gold bonding became vehicles for finding meaning in the mundane, showcasing the perspective of someone seeing their childhood through clearer, older eyes.  “Bite,” a poem about Eilbeck’s sister getting a hickey, turned into a meditation on love and families, ending with the line “only get married if you can stand it.” Another family poem, “Bellybutton,” related Eilbeck’s relationship with his mother (and her political opinions) in anecdotes like “capitalism isn’t an umbilical cord, it’s a straw/where we were tied, but no longer are”. The last poem in the set, “Twelves,” was a vivid, bittersweet piece about how it feels to be a twelve-year old boy, obsessed with boobs and overwhelmed by loneliness. “Listen up twelves, go get struck by lightning” declared Eilbeck, to a crowd of nodding heads and knowing smiles.

The next poet in the group, Richard Wehrenberg Jr., unearthed beauty in the loss and growth that are integral to becoming a full human being. Interspersing his works with funny, intimate stage banter and stories that could almost classify as poetry, Wehrenberg invited the audience to see their own lives in his art. “If anything in this bear trap of a world should be considered truth, it is things that grow”, said Wehrenberg in his first poem, “subjective truths spitten in punk kitchens”. His next poem, from the collection “Think Tank,” posed rhetorical questions for his dog, such as “Do your organs have intrinsic value? Do you know you have been bought?” Other poems focused on the confusion of being young and restless in Midwestern college towns, with a piece about Kent State that ended with the killer line, “Whoever would have thought the afterlife would look so much like Ohio…there must be a backcountry for the beyond”.

The late night ended with a gritty yet lyrical performance by the folk musician Matt Scheuermann, who performs in the band “American War.” His songs begin with stretches of satisfying melody that propel into beautiful harshness, the sort of music you have to hear live to experience completely. “I’m assigning all these symbols to my feelings,” he sang, implying that words are often incapable of containing all we need to express. Nevertheless, it was satisfying to bring home a copy of the poets’ chapbook and know I could look back on their moments of wisdom.

Lyrical Turn-Ons: Erotic Expressions at the Cat

By Alice Beecher

Photo by Danielle Shiv.

Kicking off Safer Sex Week with equal parts beauty and humor, the Sexual Information Center’s “Erotic Expressions” presented a night of intimate poetry and risqué storytelling. Although the show started late and dragged occasionally, it was nevertheless an entertaining insight into the sexual lives of Oberlin students (and more famous literary figures…).

The night began with an Oberlin appropriate piece of erotica about introverted entomologists who theorize about praying mantises while having sex. Up next was a James Joyce poem read in hilarious imitation of the old Irishman’s brogue, with lines like “the upturned dress of your white girlish drawers…your hot lips sucking at my cock….” Apparently, Joyce actually got that dirty.

The poems written by actual Oberlin students tended to be a bit more serious. One student performed a beautiful piece called “Pledge of Allegiance” about the first gay couple to make the world’s longest kiss record (33 hours!).  Rich imagery and intense emotional delivery were met with awes and gasps from the audience. In a similar vein, the poem “I Like to Masturbate” presented a refreshingly honest perspective on sexuality, with killer lines like “touch yourself till the devil on your shoulder comes”.

The willingness of students to read such complex and intimate pieces to an audience of friends and strangers reflects the SIC’s efforts to make sex an open and positive topic for discussion. Nonetheless, students were equally willing to be completely raunchy and irreverent. The poem “Yeah Fuck…Fuck, Yeah” was easily the funniest poem of the night, made all the better by a creepy, deadpan delivery and lines like “she unzipped my costume until I was naked as a Ken Doll” or “her butt… didn’t make me think of poop…”.

Photo by Danielle Shiv.

In addition to poetry, some students read excerpts from the casual encounters section on craigslist, with gems like “I’d love to lick you, so please sit on my face.” Others read rap lyrics or performed songs, such as “Erotic Banjo Joe,” who proved that “Birthday Sex” really benefits from a little bluegrass. One student read a hilarious piece from Cosmo, which peaked at the line “his anger, combined with his touch, was turning her on…plus he had saved a life!” but did include an SIC-approved moment to put on a condom.   A “sex rap” by a kid that went by “Crunkin’ White” included both offensive rhymes and very Oberlin literary references.

Beautiful readings of poems by Yeats and E.E. Cummings, as well a captivating short story by Anais Nin, reminded us that sexuality is not unique to our generation and that every era of erotica should be celebrated. After 8:45 the crowd dwindled, but the warm and open atmosphere led some students to sign up and perform at the last minute.

Some readings expressed the complexity of love within sex, reflecting the human struggle to understand the language of their bodies. Sophie of the SIC read a beautiful piece about “shedding thousands of skin cells on the subway each day” and another girl performed a touching a cappella version of a song about losing her connection with the boy whose virginity she took.

On a less somber note, another SIC member read from a book of “Cream Dreams,” a compilation of wet dreams by Oberlin students ranging from sweet and simple to “I had an orgy with the cast of Whose Line Is It Anyway.” Ironic Hipster Erotica and Erotic Harry Potter Fan Fiction kept the audience laughing as the night went on.

Ending with the Shel Silverstein poem “I’d Rather Play at Hug of War” and a few stragglers staying to read found bits of erotica, the night was a beautiful, funny celebration of the joys and frustrations of sex and an inspiring reason to start writing poetry you don’t share with your mom.

Ben Folds in Cowtown

By Sister Jack

Last week I packed up and went to the great city of Columbus, Ohio, to see one of my favorite musicians from adolescence. Yes, at 44, Ben Folds is still playing music, still touring the country, still going with all the gimmicks that have defined the latter part of his career. In 2006, he toured Australia playing with a handful of that country’s orchestras. In 2009, it was an album recorded with various college a capella groups across the US. This time around, it’s called The Lonely Avenue Tour, named after his most recent album on which he collaborated with novelist Nick Hornby. It’s not very good.

But I had heard how Ben was a great performer, and I was an adamant fan throughout my teenage years. I haven’t really listened to him in a while, but when my buddy asked me if I wanted to go see him, I thought, why the hell not?

I don’t want to give the impression that he was bad per se. He’s talented as shit and the concert had its high points. Apparently there were a lot of students from Ohio University there, and for some reason one of them started some sort of football battle cry chant during the concert and Ben just picked up his Nord and free-styled something pretty ill over the chanting crowd. Very impressive. He hit on a couple of the classics–Zak and Sara, Still Fighting It, Rocking the Suburbs, etc., and that was enjoyable, but there was just something missing.

I was sober. Stone cold sober. Thinking back a few years, I really can’t think of a concert I’ve gone to that I wasn’t at least a little buzzed on something, and I’m telling you guys, don’t go to concerts sober. Fuck, I even get blazed for the Oberlin Orchestra. Here’s a list of things that happen when you go to a concert sober that wouldn’t happen otherwise:

  • You get cold standing in line before the doors open.
  • Your feet get tired of standing. I mean really fucking tired, even if you are wearing a new $120 pair of Red Wings.
  • You think a little bit and realize the way you’re moving to the music is absolutely retarded.
  • When the bass vibrates through your innards, instead of flipping out about how gnarly it is, you just feel uncomfortable.
  • You notice and are bothered by all the douchebags in plaid Abercrombie shirts doing the spoon-and-wobble with their sub-par girlfriends.
  • You realize that most of the things the performer says between songs actually aren’t that funny.

All in all, not a great experience. Folds really gets a lot of mileage out of being nerdy and saying bitches and fuck every other sentence act. I’m sure it would have been at least a little funny if I were in the state of mind I should have been in.

Moral of the story: If you’re going to a concert, do consume substances. The more, the better. I know I’m preaching to the choir here; I just don’t want you all to make the same mistake I did.

How to Please

By Sassy S.

On Saturday, I attended three of the most popular workshops hosted by the Sexual Information Center (SIC) during Safer Sex Week: How to Please a Penis, How to Please a Vulva, and How to please an Anus.

Each workshop covers basic anatomy of genitalia as well as tips on how to increase pleasure in those areas. The practices of safe sex, sex positivity, and recommendations for first timers were not forgotten, all of which the workshops addressed. The SIC staffers provided its audience with useful information and advice on how to please your partner and yourself. Here, I want to share with the readers of Fearless and Loathing some of what I took away from these workshops:

  • When handling a penis, don’t ignore the balls… but please don’t hurt them. And when it comes to giving them attention during oral play, don’t be afraid to go there. Not every mouth-to-testes interaction has to look like what the porn industry portrays.
  • Hand jobs aren’t just for 15-year-olds.
  • Pre-cum is the result of the penis cleaning itself out. Similar to regular female vaginal discharge, pre-cum “cleans out the pipes.” Pre-cum can contain sperm and, although the chances are small, it is possible for one to get pregnant from it.
  • During arousal, the vagina actually elongates itself in order to accommodate for potential penetration.
  • One of the coolest things I learned in these workshops was that the part of the clitoris that is visible is only the beginning of a five inch long stretch of nerves. The best thing about this body part is that its sole purpose is pleasure.
  • If you and your partner are aiming to climax together, try breathing in rhythm. Synchronizing your breathing with your partner has been shown to make orgasming together easier to attain.
  • The nicest part about anal play is everyone’s got an anus, so anyone can enjoy it!
  • For men, the prostate is stimulated during anal sex. It has been shown that stimulation of the prostate can help prevent prostate cancer.

Security Report: Nov. 4th through 10th

Thursday, November 4th

12:38 p.m. A student reported the theft of her bicycle which was locked to itself outside of Mudd Library.  The bike is a blue, men’s Bluestone 200, 10 speed, valued at $200.00.

3:12 p.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm at Allencroft.  Smoke from a pot of burnt ginger activated the alarm.  The alarm was reset with no further problems.

Friday, November 5th

8:56 a.m. Staff from CIT reported the theft of several computers, value being a total of approximately $7576.50.  The theft is under investigation by Safety & Security and the Oberlin Police Department.

10:10 a.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm at Dascomb dining hall.  The cause was smoke from a burnt bagel.  The alarm was silenced and reset.

1:39 p.m. A student reported the theft of her unsecured bicycle from the southeast side of Burton Hall.  The bike is a GT Palomar, women’s, purple in color, valued at $100.00.

12:37 p.m. A resident of South Hall reported the theft of her laptop computer from her locked room.  The laptop is a PC Notebook, white in color and valued at $350.00.  The theft is under investigation.

10:47 p.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm at Talcott.  All hallway and room detectors were checked, but an activated detector was not located and there was no smoke or fire seen.  The alarm was reset without complication.

11:29 p.m. A student reported accidentally breaking the glass in the fire extinguisher cabinet door on the second floor of Dascomb.  A work order was filed for repair.

Saturday, November 6th

2:36 a.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm on the second floor of Langston Hall.  The cause of the activated smoke detector was burnt popcorn.  The alarm was reset.

12:33 p.m. Custodial staff reported vandalism to a first floor bathroom in East Hall.  Unknown person(s) kicked the door off a stall.  A work order was filed for repair of the door.

Sunday, November 7th

1:02 a.m. Officers responded to a party on West College Street that was over the authorized attendance.  The party was shut down for the night.

1:35 a.m. A resident of Barrows Hall reported a marijuana odor on the third floor.  The room in question was located by officers and occupants denied smoking in the room.  All students were advised of the College policies on smoking in buildings/rooms, and smoking marijuana.

1:05 a.m. Officers and Oberlin Police Department responded to an emergency request to assist an intoxicated student in the area of King.  The unconscious student was transported by ambulance to Mercy Allen Medical Center.

1:44 a.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to an activated pull station on the first floor of Dascomb Hall.  The building was checked and no need for the activation could be located.  The alarm was reset.

10:02 a.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm at East Hall, mechanical room.  The cause of the alarm was from excessive heat in the room.  A window was opened and an electrician was contacted for repair.

3:24 p.m. A student reported vandalism to her vehicle while parked in the Union Street lot.  The passenger side rear door was kicked leaving a dent, scuff mark and visible shoe print.  Two other vehicles in the lot were discovered to have similar damage.  Oberlin Police Department also responded for a report.  Owners of vehicles were notified.

7:44 p.m. A student reported the theft of his gray Nike string bag from an unlocked locker in Philips Gym.  The bag contained gym clothes, a pair of glasses and a black LG cell phone.  A check of the area was made for the items with negative results.  The cell phone service was cancelled.

Monday, November 8th

2:46 p.m. Staff reported the cord to the fire suppression system in the kitchen of Tank Hall was pulled and hanging approximately 8 inches.  The fire alarm company was contacted for repair.

11:54 a.m. A student reported the theft of her locked bicycle from the bike rack on the north side of Dascomb Hall.  The bicycle is a red Murray Westport, wide handlebars and black seat, valued at $100.00.

Tuesday, November 9th


10:16 a.m. Staff from Philips Gym reported the theft of a laptop computer from a secured office.  The laptop is a MacBook Pro, 15” screen, silver in color, valued at approximately $1700.00.  The theft is under investigation by the Safety & Security Office and Oberlin Police Department.

2:45 p.m. Staff from Wilder Hall reported the theft of a desktop computer.  The computer is a iMac Intel, 20” screen and is valued at approximately $1150.00.  The theft is under investigation by the Safety & Security Officer and Oberlin Police Department.

5:28 p.m. Officers responded to a requested for assistance from an ill student from Dascomb Hall.  The student was transported to the hospital for treatment.

11:37 p.m. Student staff reported finding a small plastic bag containing what appeared to be marijuana near the exterior entrance of Langston Hall.  The baggie was turned over to the Oberlin Police Department.

Security Report: Oct. 28th through Nov. 3rd

Thursday, October 28th

2:22 a.m. Officers responded to the report of a suspicious male sitting on the steps on the northwest side of Wilder Hall.  Oberlin Police Department also responded.  The male was identified and advised he was waiting for daylight so he could ride his bike back to Spencer.

7:19 p.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm at Langston Hall, second floor.  Burnt roasted cashews created smoke and activated the alarm.  The alarm was reset with no further problems.

Friday, October 29th

11:40 a.m. Philips Gym staff reported two unauthorized male subjects in the building.  The subjects were located and identified.  One of the individuals was found to be in possession of a fictitious Oberlin College staff ID.  Both individuals were escorted from the building.  Further investigation to follow.

6:30 p.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm at Keep, third floor.  The smoke from burning incense was the cause of the alarm.  Incense and holder were confiscated.  The alarm was reset.

8:57 p.m. A student reported being assaulted by a group of approximately 8 – 12 juveniles at the northwest corner of Stevenson Hall.  The group then left campus heading east.  Oberlin Police Department also responded.  A “Special Alert” was issued by the Safety and Security Office.

Saturday, October 30th

5:20 p.m. A student reported the theft of her locked bicycle from the bike rack on the north side of Harvey.  The bike is a black, men’s, Huffy mountain bike, valued at approximately $40.00.

8:06 p.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm at Dascomb Hall, second floor.  The cause was smoke/steam from cooking bacon.  The alarm was silenced and reset.

Sunday, October 31st

1:28 a.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm at Langston Hall, first floor, pull station.  The entire building was searched and found to be ok.  The pull station was reset.

2:00 a.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm, pull station, on the first floor of Noah.  The building was checked and found to be ok.  The alarm was reset.

7:36 a.m. Officers responded to the first floor of Bibbins to assist with a student, ill from alcohol consumption.  The student was coherent and able to answer all questions.  He was transported to Langston Hall and walked to his room with no problems.

8:25 a.m. Officers responded to a “water flow” alarm at King, third floor.  Water was observed flowing from the ceiling in a third floor room.  A plumber responded and was able to stop the leak; custodial staff responded for clean up.

12:30 p.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm on the second floor of Barrows Hall.  The building was checked and found to be ok.  The alarm was reset.

12:55 p.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm on the first floor of Noah.  Smoke was observed near the kitchenette.  Chicken was found cooking in the oven and drippings created smoke, activating the alarm.  The area was cleared of smoke and the alarm reset.

9:52 p.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm at Barrows Hall.  A fire extinguisher was discharged in several areas for no apparent reason.  Students were moved to the Science Center until clean up was completed and smoke detectors were replaced.

Monday, November 1st

1:24 a.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm at Barrows Hall, second floor. A strong odor of burnt marijuana was detected on the second floor and the room detector was activated.  The alarm was silenced and reset.  Occupants of the room denied smoking in the room.

9:27 a.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm at Keep, third floor.  All rooms, including the attic, were checked and no cause for the alarm could be found.  The alarm was reset with no further problems.

Tuesday, November 2nd

9:37 p.m. Officers responded to the report of a suspicious male on the south side of Zechiel.  A second call reported the individual entered Zechiel, carrying a bottle of alcohol.  Officers located the male on the south side of Zechiel and identification was made.  Oberlin Police also responded and the non-student was taken into custody and charged with Trespass.

11:46 p.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm on the second floor of Barrows Hall.  A student advised he was jumping on the bed and accidentally hit the detector.  Repairs were made to the detector and the alarm was reset.

Wednesday, November 3rd

7:00 a.m. Officers and Oberlin Fire Department responded to a fire alarm, room smoke detector, on the second floor of Barnard.  The cause of the alarm was steam from an electric teapot.  The alarm was reset with no further problems.