By Sassy S.
Fantasizing and masturbation are key parts of our personal lives whether we discuss them openly or not. Fantasy can be done on its own, as can masturbation, but there is no doubt the two go together well. The SIC (Sexual Information Center) hosted a workshop this week specifically geared towards discussing (and encouraging) fantasy and masturbation.
The talk began by reading aloud multiple fantasies that had been submitted by the audience, demonstrating the wide variety of sexual fantasies that can exist. Not every person is going to have the same fantasy, and it is important to recognize and respect those differences. Fantasizing is imagining anything that gets you hot. No fantasy is the “right” fantasy; they can be dangerous, innocent, familiar or new. Fantasies are safe and do not have to reflect things you do in real life. It is perfectly acceptable to imagine engaging in behavior you wouldn’t regularly do, since the thought is safely tucked away in your head.
Masturbation can be one of the safest sexual acts since there is no chance of contracting an STI. Masturbation is the act of pleasuring oneself. The good news about masturbation is everyone can do it. Here’s a fun fact: most children under the age of five have masturbated (now take a moment to think back). Masturbation feels good, it’s relaxing, and it can help you get to know yourself. Masturbation can also be something you do to spoil yourself. As one SIC staffer put it, “Just because you’re not with a partner doesn’t mean you can’t be sexy or treat yourself well.”
For those who came to the workshop looking for masturbation techniques, many were suggested. Here are some interesting ones I picked out that the Fearless and Loathing readers may be able to add to their collections:
- During solo sex, it can be fun to practice edging. Edging is bringing yourself to the point just before climax, before pausing and then reengaging, which will force yourself to last longer. This can also be good practice for men and women who want to postpone climaxing in bed.
- If men are looking to stimulate the prostate, a little bit of anal play will do the trick. Stimulation of the prostate can even lead to non-ejaculatory orgasm in some men.
- An easy slight-of-hand trick is applying pressure to the sensitive perineum, the skin between the testes and anus. This can be done by oneself or a partner who is spicing up a hand job.
- For women, exercising the Kegel muscles can help increase pleasure for yourself and your partner. Ben wa balls, a small pair of weighted balls, can be inserted into the vagina and held there for exercise.