By Gossip Girl
This weekend was poorly thought out! You will see what I mean as I detail my mistakes.
10:24 p.m. First stop: Feve. Apparently the trustees are paying tonight. Drinks on them!
11:34 p.m. I’ve literally heard of nothing happening except for the movie at 11:55 p.m., and so I’ve decided I have a journalistic responsibility to go and report on how it is.
12:09 a.m. At the movie with Gunther. He snuck 3/4 of a beer in. I’m so proud to be his friend.
12:10 a.m. I realized just now that I actually sat in the Feve and played games tonight. What the hell happened to Friday nights?
The mistake that I made was that I hadn’t been trying to figure out what was going from about 7 p.m. on.
12:58 p.m. Just walked to the bathroom and DANNY DEVITO IS SITTING RIGHT BEHIND ME! WOO!!
I really wanted to ask if his balls were on fire. He spends a lot of time talking about his flaming testicles on Twitter.
2:25 a.m. I have decided that the New Apollo is the best thing to happen to Oberlin in a long time. I’ve also decided that Zombieland is the best thing to happen to me since Shaun of The Dead.
I think they may have spent more time on picking the best zombie kills to include in the movie than they did casting the film.
1:08 p.m. I’ve decided to start early. I’m chilling with some guys watching a game and playing pong.
2:27 p.m. Planning the night out. It looks like dinner at Agave, pregame at Casa Del Calamari, two birthday parties, and then whatever happens.
2:43 p.m. I just got on the pong table! My partner likes to play with the balls. This has been interrupting the game.
3:55 p.m. We’ve been on the table for a solid hour now. Feeling wasted.
4:19 p.m. Gunther, get over here now!
I take notes on the evening by texting myself. I was drunk enough that I accidentally texted myself when I was meaning to text Gunther. Things got fuzzy here.
6:29 p.m. I am waljing home to get rrady for Casa Del Calamarfi. Whu dd U srink so much N?
If I was typing like this, I know exactly how I was walking.
8:49 p.m. I just woke up and decided not to go out tonight.
Party Rule #1: Don’t get too wasted to go out.