By S.

We play with each other, our selves, through manipulating power, altering gender, and discovering toys, in any place we can find.  We abstain, and we ravage.  We have one-night stands and long relationships, all within and breaking any boundaries we might imagine.  We can make love, but from fisting to feathers, we also F—.

Do not underestimate the importance of a good fuck, a good Oberlin fuck.

To help you with this key part of Oberlin life, here is my honest top ten list of places that I have enjoyed at Oberlin.*

1.  A classroom in Severance.

Just as so many of us spend long classes fantasizing, it felt incredible to lie spread across the seminar tables with a foot on each chair as my lover stood and thrust into me.  Even better was leaving handprints on the chalkboard and a full glow-in-the-dark condom (thank you, SIC) in the trashcan to fuel 9 a.m. fantasies the next morning.

WARNING:  I wouldn’t recommend doing this during the day, and it’s probably frowned upon by someone.  Be kind and use a Clorox Wipe or something to clean the desk afterward.

2.  The Arb.

After a well-enjoyed Friday night, the cold dew on the grass is refreshing, and the rawness of being in mud is nothing shy of hot.

WARNING:  This is not for the faint of heart with sticks, pebbles, bugs, and midnight smokers to interrupt.

3.  Mudd.

Everyone’s got to do it once–well everyone that’s into that sort of thing.  This is the ultimate display of public sex for an Oberlinian.  I took it from behind bent over between The Encyclopedia of Orthodox Judaism and The Encyclopedia of Ortho-ontology (or something or other multi volume and medical sounding).

WARNING: Not only did I end up with rug burn on my knees, but I was kinda near a huge window, and there are always people popping up somewhere in Mudd…it happens.  Also, as Luda says, “But ya can’t be too loud”.

4.  A car parked behind the art building.

If you’re going to go for car sex, this is the place to do it: steamy close quarters, memories of pre-college life, and the hopes of some art kid finding pseudo-meaning in what you’re doing.  This is by far the best parking lot for out of the way passion.

WARNING:  Learn from my obvious and stupid mistakes.  Turn the car off, put the parking break on and then don’t lean against said break.  Also, car sex requires some creative maneuverings to get interesting.

5.  Dorm showers.

In the depths of an Ohio winter, running back to South with my lover and tearing off our clothes to press against each other under steaming hot water might have been the best part of the day.  There are three close walls to be thrown against to feel hard nipples against the cool tile.

WARNING: Doc. Branuers can be used for most things, but I would not recommend it for lube.  Also, remember to keep it down and not offend any other bathroom-goers.  You’re in a place where people seek peace at all hours of the night.

6.  A Con practice room.

I know it’s cliché and that there are people worried about the Steinways, but trust me, turning the lights off and (carefully) placing hands above the keys is better than Julia Roberts makes it look.  These rooms were designed for beautiful and intimate privacy.

WARNING:  Do this with a Connie.  They know how to deal with people coming to kick you out and how to really take care of that piano.

7.  Stairways.

Sometimes your room is not available and you need a quick fix.  While more risky, stairs beat elevators for me.  Find a less trafficked set and make use of elevation and railings.  I know some great fellatio has been performed on many a landing in South.

WARNING: I twist my ankles all the time, and stairs require a little more coordination than I always have. Also, you should listen for anyone coming up or down.

8.  Co-op Kitchens (fridge and dry foods rooms)

I have most certainly had my share of fun while hoping nobody had a sudden craving for potatoes.  While I know it would not pass an OSCA-wide vote, a little bit of fellatio or the quick make out never got in the way of my kale and quinoa.

WARNING:  Health Code!  This means keep your hair net, shoes and shirt on.  Also, common sense: no sex on tables, near food, etc.

9.  The Lake Erie beach and park.

Okay, so this isn’t actually in Oberlin, but if you drive North on Main Street and just keep driving, you will hit Lake Erie and a beautiful public beach.  Now, I don’t normally recommend beach sex because sand has a way of getting everywhere, and I don’t think that I, personally, could turn it into a pearl, but the drive lasts just long enough to make you ready to pounce whomever you’re with.  In the middle of February last year, there was a wonderfully warm night when the park and woods area by the beach were empty except for the sound of creaking ice.  It was a beautiful, scenic, and passionate escape from Oberlin.

WARNING:  You can technically get a public indecency charge for this kind of shenanigans, but hey, Blue Sky 24 Hour Diner is on your way back.

10.  My all time favorite, the not to be underestimated Oberlin Dorm Singles!

From fabulous cramped three-ways, to being bent over a bed on bed risers, or falling off only to continue on the floor, some of the best sex I have had was from being pounded against North’s cinder block walls, and propping limbs up in the deep-set windows of South.  After all, sharing a single reminds you that sex should always be a fun and laughter-filled challenge.  What sleeping arrangement could bring you closer?

Just remember, don’t sexile your loving roommate, and only treat your hall to the performance they want to hear.

By “I,” I mean a hypothetical and anonymous person that Oberlin College and Ohio Law could have no relation to.

* Consent is always necessary.  This means that you can’t have sex in front of someone without their consent, making public spaces risky.  Make sure to be courteous and aware of your fellow students and whoever might be around.  Also be aware of school rules and public indecency laws.